Quest for Clarity

Making sense of life, the Universe and Myself.

Monday, November 21, 2005

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Originally uploaded by ladybabymama.

I am having a great time out here at Linda and Dawn's place. They are gone to Curaco for a week and I am sitting the dogs. This house is fun. I spent yesterday afternoon in the hot-tub. Watched a bit of TV. Ho hum, la di da...there are lots of movies. I wish I had Myst 2 and 4 to play. Life is good.
I have a lot of inner work to do. My soul feels torn up and shaken around. I figure that's got to be a good thing.
The entire world feels like that right now and it seems like it could sure use some rearrangement as well.The only place to find peace is within so I'm headed there right now.'til later...

OK, my brother Alan was just here for lunch. We were talking about family. For me, I liked the brother/sister/cousin aspects of family, but had no interest in the grownups with all their rules. I liked older people OK if they would tell stories from when they were kids, or if they would play with us like my uncle John used to.

I think I would like a world where we could stay at 17 forever. We could certainly find a way to feed ourselves and keep the electric running so we could play music. One idea I had was that we could all move into universities. They are great setups with heating plants, food preparation areas, sleeping facilities and plenty of access to information. Usually there are swimming pools and athletic equipment. Paradise.

I like Rainbow Gatherings because they are like that. With no rules, no money, no "grownups"yet it all works astoundingly well because almost everyone is on the same trip.

Kids seem way smarter than grownups . I get along fine with kids and really old people and animals. This "RealWorld" of jobs and grownups and bills and taxes is soul-numbingly tedious to me. I go into a semi-coma whenever I get within 20 feet of it. Do you suppose there is something wrong with me?

My prevailing fantasy is that I am the Queen of the Dead. The land of the dead is cool because you don't have to be afraid of dying. You are already there. You can't go to hell. Anything goes. Plus there is all the time in the world for anything at all. Eternities..Aeons. You could devote a billion years to studying beetles and..so what? Whatever. Do you think it would be boring? You could sleep for a million years if you wanted, too. Sure, you could be a businessman if that is what you'd like. Whatever.

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