Quest for Clarity

Making sense of life, the Universe and Myself.

Saturday, March 28, 2009


Well, the “crazies in my head” are nattering on about how I shouldn’t be doing what I am doing;
something to do with being in violation of their laws and customs.
Sheesh! Get a life, I say.
I also say that I wish I were back home
in the land of the brave and the home of the free, whenever that was.
I guess that’s why I liked the whole “Little House in the Big Woods”scene;
just getting away from all the “voices” of self appointed authorities who think they have the right to dictate to me how I am to live my life.
Just being on the same planet as these people makes me want to go away
or have them all go away.
I am so willing to live and let live.
I really don’t want to tell people how to live their lives.
I just want to “do my thing”, whatever that happens to be at any given moment.

OK now I am thinking about how I so totally do not find any merit in
the custom of matrimony.
The whole romance thing is just too tacky to me.
It is predicated on being false to your own Self or to another. Gross!
One MUST be true to one’s Self or perish;
for if you are not true to yourself, your Self will disown you and then where are you?
I say this from very painful experience.
This is why I am ever-so-less-than enthused about the whole election brou-ha-ha.
It has been said that the election paradigm is like a race of mammals, which are governed by rather large reptiles.
On election day the mammals get to pick which reptile they want governing them.
OK I have nothing against reptiles; after all they build good roads. Whatever.
I have nothing against roads either.
It’s all good. Whatever floats your boat, pumps your nads, rings your chimes, man.
I just want to be able to eternally do what I do,
which is enjoying myself and the world around me.
Why does this feel like such a crime?
Lazy, selfish, irresponsible; the holy trinity of my nature.
This is why I am suicidal or escapist or dissociative or whatever the “experts” label whatever it is I am doing at any given moment, which is always changing.
I get along so well with myself
and with other people when they let me be and do their thing,
and sometimes it’s cool to show and tell, too.
Share experiences. Share processes and insights.
What is this vibe surrounding me right now?
The Old School vibe; do as you are told, obey authorities,
don’t trust yourself or others, don’t ask questions, don’t make stuff up.
If you pass tests you will be rewarded.
(of course that IS true, but the Universe or Natural Law rewards you , not some external authority)
So what I am electing for myself is Personal Sovereignity.
I am the Divinely appointed authority over my own life and whatever I feel responsible toward.
(Like my shoes, or body or dishes)
Why does this all sound so radical. It’s just good sense.
Maybe other people are not like me and have different ideals.
But that is mine. I have to be able to live with myself. Wherever I go, there I am.
I don’t really have a problem with my family in this respect.
They are fairly respectful, I imagine.
Well, guess this is part and parcel of being creative, or “an artist”.
I could say that is my religion or policy.
I am an artist.
I create beauty and harmony wherever I go, even if it gets torn down time after time. That’s not what matters.
What matters is the doing of it,
the state of mind one enters during the creative process.
Part of this for me is the experiencing of other creative people and their expressions.
This includes video games and movies, etc. or a creatively lived life.
Social artistry.
Having a beautiful living area with meager resources.
Staying cool is artistry.


Post a Comment

<< Home